When I grow up...

Why are kids always in such a hurry to grow up? They look forward to milestone ages with such excitement and anticipation. They can't wait to be five because it means they're headed to kindergarten. Ten year olds are FINALLY in the double digits. Kids practically count the minutes until they turn thirteen, because teenagers are soooo cool! Sixteen means a driver's license. Eighteen means they are officially 'adults'... although I know very few 18 year olds (myself at that age included) who are terribly mature and responsible. Then comes the first (legal) drink at twenty one.

I know I sort of stopped looking forward to birthdays somewhere during my late 20's. For a woman after the age of 35, the only thing birthdays bring (other than presents, of course) are more wrinkles, gray hair and sagging in places that used to be so perky and firm.

When I was young, I had this idea that once I grew up and found the perfect guy I would have a 'happily ever after' kind of life, an idea that was helped along by dozens of romantic comedies and romance novels. But the truth is, although my guy is one of the best, there are no perfect guys. There are no 'happily ever afters'. Life is messy and full of disappointment. Marriage is hard. Friends let us down. Raising kids is stressful. Money is tight. Just when you think things are moving along pretty smoothly, inevitably there are little bumps in the road to remind you how hard being a grown up really is.... a car repair, an illness, an argument. Then, every once in a while, there come the boulders in the road; things that you just don't think you can get around... the death of a loved one, a friend with cancer, a family you love that's falling apart.

Most of us manage to muddle through somehow with the help of the people we love. Thank heaven there are the joyful moments that somehow balance out the struggles and pain. Being a grown up isn't about being 'happy'. It's about learning and growing and most importantly... loving. Unfortunately, to know and appreciate love, we also have to deal with the pain. So whenever my kids are in a hurry to grow up, I tell them to slow down and have fun. I remind them to enjoy the carefree days of childhood. Although being a grow up can (and should) include a healthy dose of fun, It's anything but carefree.