Reasons

I could give you all sorts of reasons why I can't or shouldn't or really just don't feel like running. Wanna hear them?

Thanks to Daylight Savings Time, it's practically getting dark in the middle of the afternoon.

It's cold. And sometimes it even snows. And the wind might blow and make my ears all achy.

Our evening schedule is out. of. control. Do they have recovery programs for moms who can't say no to 'just one more activity'? Cause I think I may need one. Last night Zack left to take Evan to hockey at 4:30, got him on the ice, then headed home to get Owen ready for his 5:45 basketball game. I picked Evan up at 5:45, dropped Riley off for his hockey practice, and raced over to catch the rest of Owen's game. After the game, I dropped the boys off with Shayna at the house and went to get Riley off the ice a little bit early so that we could make it to his 7:00 basketball game. (Did I mention that Zack is coaching both basketball teams?) We started the Allen Family Taxi Service at 4:30 and didn't get home until after 8:00. And nobody even tipped me!

In the mornings there is the whole 'What do I do with Quinn?' dilemma. I could always push him in the stroller. You guys, trust me when I tell you that pushing a toddler in a jogging stroller is MUCH harder than those skinny, fit, hard-bodied chicks in the advertisements make it look! MUCH HARDER! I know it is giving my arms a workout, and I'm burning extra calories, but I honestly don't care.

It's a lot easier to sit at home on the couch with the candy bowl in my lap watching 'Biggest Loser' while I stuff my face with fun size Twix and Kit Kats (they're only like 80 calories each).

I just had SURGERY 3 days ago guys! OK. So, it was only to remove a varicose vein, and even though they gave me a prescription for Percoset, I actually only had to take Advil twice. I feel perfect, but it SOUNDS really sad and pathetic when I say, "I just had SURGERY!"

There's always the treadmill at the gym, but have you ever tried to run on one of those things. Running is hard... that's kind of the point, but running on a treadmill is like torture on a conveyor belt. Every mile seems to take soooo much longer. Maybe that's because all I have to look at is the ESPN that all the muscle boys in the gym like to watch. Also I am going absolutely NOWHERE. I prefer to have an actual destination and some scenery other than sweaty bodies, football, and a WALL! It certainly doesn't help my motivation that all the people on the equipment behind me have an unobstructed view of my jiggly BUTT!

I have mostly been on my own. My running partner is back at work (teaching), and the other gals I sometimes run with have kids and busy lives too. It's been hard to make it work. When I have a running date with another person, I will almost always keep it. When I only have myself to be accountable to... see above.

Reasons I will keep running even though I have plenty of perfectly good excuses not to

I am happy with my weight for the first time in my adult life.

Shopping for clothes is a much less emotional experience than it used to be. There is less crying, and more actual BUYING... it might actually be characterized as FUN.

When I sit down, instead of seeing bumpy cottage cheesy cellulite on my thighs (pretty picture, huh?), I have actual MUSCLE definition.

I am STRONG. Strong enough to climb a 14er. Strong enough to water ski. Strong enough to run for 13 miles without stopping. I am 36 years old, and I'm doing things I've never done before. That feels amazing.

I am a mom. My life is, for the most part, about my family. That is as it should be. Running (and now the writing I am doing here) are the only things I do JUST FOR ME. It's my time. Time to think and reflect on things that are happening in my life. Time to get some space from the issues, and hopefully gain some perspective.

I have energy. I am no longer moving through life in a fog that I just can't seem to shake. Instead I feel alive and energized. These kids of mine will sap every last bit of energy from me, so I need all I can get.

Other than the five times I have pushed 9-10 pound human beings out of my body, I have never been prouder of myself than when I crossed the finish line of my first half marathon. It was an incredible moment. One I would like to experience again.

Even though it's hard. Even though sometimes I don't feel like it. Even though it's complicated to fit it in to my crazy life. I. will. keep. going.