Monday Morning Smile: The Explosion

Quinn was a brand new baby... maybe a few weeks old. We had two kids with games in two different towns, so Zack and I were tag teaming. Zack was with Shayna at a basketball game, the boys and I were at Riley's hockey game. The hockey game was in Kremmling, an itty bitty town with only an outdoor rink.

It was a bitterly cold day. I remember Riley and some of the other kids were near tears between games because their toes were aching with cold. If we lived in Kremmling, I can say with some certainty that I would encourage Riley NOT to play hockey. I get that hockey and cold kind of go together, but this was the sort of cold that no amount of layering is going to keep at bay. Let's just say that I didn't feel comfortable taking the baby out into the weather.

*A teensy bit of background info for all you hockey virgins out there* --- In hockey there are 'lines' (or groups) of players. One line will go in and play for a short time, then the next line will go in while the first line takes a break.

The car was parked right in front of the rink, less than 20 yards from the ice. So, while Riley's line was out of the game, I would start the car and warm us all up really well. (Don't worry. There were windows cracked open.) When Riley would go back on the ice, I would shut the engine off, run out and watch for a couple of minutes, then hurry back to the car to thaw out my fingers and toes.

At some point during the game, little Quinn needed a change. There was no place in the bathroom to lay him down, and laying him on the seat of the car would mean that I would have to stand outside the car, leaving the door open and exposing his little hiney to the freezing cold air. Being the genius that I am, I decided to change him on my lap. I placed him on my legs with his head near my knees.

I opened the diaper and while I was in the midst of cleaning him up, he let one rip. There was the biggest EXPLOSION of poo I have ever seen! Think for just a moment about where his butt was aimed. You got it... right at ME! Poo splattered all over my chest and arms. It splattered the car door and window. It splattered his carseat.

I think I might have actually been in a state of shock for a moment. I was pulled back to my senses by the second explosion. Only this time, it was an explosion of laughter coming from the back seat. Owen and Evan seemed to think this was the absolute funniest thing they had ever been witness to. I, on the other hand, was not quite ready to see the humor in the situation. It's kind of hard to laugh when you're covered from the neck to the waist in POO!

It took a little while, but I managed to get the baby, myself and the car cleaned up. Fortunately, my winter coat was polyester/nylon, and I was able to wipe it down. (It got a good cleaning when we got home) I really have no one but myself to blame. We're talking about my fifth child, and I was quite familiar with what to expect from the nether regions of a newborn. In the interest of warmth, I took a gamble... and lost. I recommend a cold butt the next time around.