The Pop Quiz

Yesterday I was driving Owen home from his guitar lesson after a hectic day caring for 4 children (ages 5, 4, 2, and 6 weeks), getting a 5 and 6 year old suited up for hockey practice (if you have never done it, trust me, it is a major accomplishment. I kind of think I deserve a medal or something), dropping Riley's hockey jerseys at the ice rink (because it was picture day and I forgot. Imagine that!), fixing dinner, going to the gym. Ya know, the regular harried mom routine.

My mind was most certainly not in the car with Owen. It was on getting the enchilada casserole in the oven the minute we walked in the door so that we could eat as soon as Riley got home from hockey practice. It was on the doctor bills in a neat little stack on the counter waiting for someone (me, I guess?) to pay them. It was wondering who was going to get Shayna to her 6:00am basketball practice in the morning (her dad, most definitely).

So here I am lost in Mommy thoughts, and out of nowhere Owen begins firing questions at me:

"Did Einstein ask questions? True or False?"

"Is the heart the most powerful muscle in the body?"

"Is Chinese a hard language to learn? True or False?"

"What was the color of Coca Cola when it was first introduced?"

It's so great how sometimes my when mind is on the things that kind of suck in life, one of my kids reminds me that there are plenty of pretty terrific things too... like pop quizzes in the car.

The Tree: A Day in Pictures

We had actually planned to get a tree the previous day, and had packed our gear as well as some cookies and hot chocolate and headed to our usual tree cutting location. The kids were all bubbling over with excitement because this year we planned to get 4 trees: one for the living room, one each for Shayna and Riley, and one for Owen & Evan to share. We were almost to the spot in the road where you could start to see evergreens, and the snow on the road was terribly deep and drifted in spots. Zack looked at me and said, "We're so close, What do you think?" I left it up to him, and he tried to get us through but all we got was good and stuck. We tried for an hour to dig ourselves out, with no luck. We watched as half a dozen folks on snow machines passed us without offering assistance. Finally 3 young men stopped and helped. You could tell they didn't really want to, but I suppose they knew it was the right thing to do. They all had picks and shovels with them, and another hour later we were headed home with headaches and cold, wet bodies and without a tree. It was a disappointing day. I wish I had taken some photos, but I was a little too preoccupied with our predicament.

So on Sunday, we tried again, this time on Rabbit Ears pass, where the snow is much deeper. As we were approaching the trailhead, a lady hopped out of her car and asked me if I had a camera. I looked at her in confusion, wondering what she might want me to take a picture of. She explained that she wanted to take a picture of us. She said we were just too cute with our sled and snowshoes and all those children. We rarely have an opportunity to get a photo of all 7 of us, so I gladly accepted her sweet offer. As she returned the camera to me, she asked, "This isn't all one family, is it?" I answered, "Yes, as a matter of fact it is". She gave me a look of either bewilderment or admiration. I couldn't tell exactly which.

When we had reached a point in the trail where we saw some suitable trees, Zack left me with Quinn while he and the others went to scout out the situation. Quinn refused to stay on the sled, and he also refused to stay on the packed trail, veering off into several feet of snow over and over again. This resulted in a cold, wet cranky toddler in a very short time. This photo was taken when we first got there, and he still thought it was all pretty exciting... before the cold, wet crankies set in.

Owen didn't have snowshoes, because in the stress and confusion of the previous day's failed tree cutting expedition, his were left behind. He stayed back near the trail with us, and occupied himself with building a snow fort.

Evan picked out a tree to share with Owen and hauled it back to the trail all by himself.

And... he made it almost all the way back before crashing. Pulling a tree bigger than him with giant metal shoes strapped to his snow boots is not as easy as it looks.

After finding herself a tree, Shayna was put to work pulling Quinn up and down the trail. This was done in an effort to keep him from face planting in the snow over and over again. If you look closely, you can see that he is already beginning to lose it.

He cried NONSTOP for about 45 minutes. I knew that his gloves were wet, and his hands were freezing, so tried to put my gloves on him. He screamed and threw them back at me. There was no consoling him. As soon as we had all the trees cut, we began the trek back to the car. It was much slower going with four trees and a screaming toddler. The photo below is Quinn after warming up in the car for 10 minutes or so. Still crying.

Evan and Owen had a ball decorating their tree all by themselves, and they were so proud of the finished product. They did have to take a break from decorating every now and then to scream at each other, but that's life sharing a room (and a Christmas tree) with a brother.

Riley putting on one of his favorite ornaments... a snowman made out of fishing bobbers. I know, but it really is cuter than it sounds.

Shayna was a big help. I was a little under the weather, and it took all my energy just to get some photos taken. She put all the bows on for me, as well as a large portion of the ornaments. Teenagers aren't all bad.

The finished product... ignore the bare spot on the left side. We have never had to drag a tree that far, and apparently the dragging sort of rips off the branches. Next time we'll drag it on a tarp or sled to preserve the branches.

It's a genuine Christmas miracle! All five children looking at the camera and smiling at the same time! It was a long couple of days trying to get that tree, but now that it's up all the yucky parts (like digging tires out of snow, a screaming toddler and dragging four trees and five children for half a mile) seem a little less yucky.

A Letter to my Children: My Thanksgiving Wish

My Dear Children,

This Thanksgiving, my wish for you, my sweet (and hornery) blessings, is that you are able to push aside all the insignificant things in this life, and focus on the things that really make this life wonderful and amazing and so worth living.

I know it's hard sometimes when there is a constant flood of messages from all around you telling you that it's the 'stuff' that we have that matters. I know that when you're asked what you're thankful for, it's really hard not to list things like ipods, gaming systems, toys and clothes. I know that you see your peers who have stuff that you envy and want for me to give you. Sometimes I don't give you those things because I just can't... financial limitations have put them beyond my reach. Other times it's because I want you to work for them yourself. I also know that if I were to give you everything, you would appreciate nothing.

I want for you to see the big picture. To have a broader view of the world than our little home. I want for you to understand how incredibly blessed you really are. I want you to see the many gifts that are placed in your life each and every day.

It is a gift to wake up each day in a warm home, surrounded by people who love you... a gift that many children in this world don't have.

It is a gift that you have never been truly hungry. Oh, I know you think you've been hungry, but the kind of hunger you've felt (the kind when I'm an hour late getting supper on the table) always ends with a meal. You have never felt the belly swelling ache of real hunger. Many children feel this ache each and every day of their lives.

It is a gift to feel safe, to know that your family will always protect you and never intentionally cause you harm. Too many children live their lives in fear of those who should love and protect them.

You are warm. and fed. and safe. and loved. I know it doesn't always seem like enough, but it is. I promise.

All My Love to You... My Greatest Gifts,

Mommy

A little first grade writing to make you smile...

We had parent teacher conferences on Tuesday evening, and Evan's teacher was giving us the run down on how he's doing. Owen was sitting with us, flipping through Evan's journal. He came to this page, his eyes got really big and you could tell he couldn't wait to show it to us and totally bust his little brother.

In case you have trouble with deciphering first grade writing, let me help you out.

I want a naked dance party. I like naked. I like dancing.

As Zack and I read through it, I was biting back laughter, while Zack was putting on his 'stern dad' face. His teacher said she was hoping we wouldn't notice that page (she didn't want him to get in trouble). Zack had words with Evan about writing about 'appropriate' topics. So if you happen to bump into Evan, don't mention this. We don't want to encourage this sort of thing. We just want to giggle about it where he can't hear us. And I promise there is no naked dancing going on around here. That would be downright frightening.

This one is completely appropriate AND completely adorable! It's a riddle about what their Halloween costume is.

It has red on it. It has 5 pistols. I have vittles to eat. I kill varmints. I use my red rope to lasso cattle. I ride a shiny, fast, black horse and I wash his fur everyday. Who am I?

It's cowboy Evan!

It's Not My Fault! My Frontal Lobes Weren't Fully Developed

Teens are getting an out for their less than perfect behavior these days based on research that suggests that the brain's frontal lobes aren't fully developed until well into the 20's. The frontal

lobe plays a pivotal role in impulse control and judgement. I'm guessing my frontal lobe was still underdeveloped during my college years because, although I managed (by some miracle) to get a degree (and a good GPA), those years would surely be characterized more by a whole lot of FUN than by good judgement and sound decision making.

My dear friend Jamie and I would have made perfect test subjects for this type of study. While in college, we happily demonstrated our poor judgement and terrible lack of impulse control on pretty much a daily basis. One such display involves an evening excursion to our high school town. The reasons for this particular lark have become fuzzy with time, but I'm sure we were up to no good and my guess is that it involved a boy.

Jamie and I back in the days of poor impulse control and lack of judgement

While there, we had this wonderful inspiration... to steal street signs. Stolen street signs of various types were a pretty common dorm room decoration, and we thought we'd join the crowd. We had already taken a couple of signs and were busily working on another when I saw a busybody neighbor peeking out of the blinds from a house across the street. We hurriedly threw the sign and our collection of tools into the trunk of the car, climbed in and sped away from the scene of our misdeed. We thought we had gotten safely away, and were surprised to see the nosy neighbor climbing into a car and driving after us. Folks, this was a real live CAR CHASE, and it was happening to US! This car followed us through town, in and out of lanes of traffic frantically waving at us to pull over. I was as scared as I had ever been. Who was this vigalante, out for 'street sign justice', and what was he going to do or say to us if we did pull over.

Our first inclination was to head home, but we didn't have enough gas in the car to make the hour and a half drive back, and we didn't know how far this lunatic was going to try and follow us. We were unsuccessful in our attempts at evasion, and ended up pulling into a parking lot behind a pizza place, hoping to lose him. It didn't work. He got out of his car and... he wasn't lunatic or a busybody. He was a COP... an off duty cop, but a cop all the same. I can safely say 'Murphy's (my maiden name) Law' was working against us that evening. We chose the sign in front of a cop's house to steal. What are the odds???

You think we were freaking out during the chase?? This turn of events put us in a full blown pants messing panic because he was calling in his buddies in the black and whites and we were convinced that we are going to the big house. We have visions of pat downs, strip searches and showers with inmates flying through our underdeveloped brains. Oh and that little detail of calling our folks to bail us out of JAIL! OMG!

Well, it turns out we had some of the nice guys, and they didn't even arrest us. Can you imagine our relief? They did charge us with misdemeanor LARSENY, though. We had to appear in court before a judge (who also turned out to be one of the nice guys). The judge said that he understood that it was a teenage prank, and gave us a little smackdown about how unsafe it was for the motorists who come to an intersection where some punks (us) have taken the stop sign down. Imagine the consequences? We were really very remorseful, and he explained that this little lapse in judgement would be erased from our record if we managed to keep our noses clean for the next year. Don't you love a happy ending?!

It's a funny story now... one that my family (particularly a certain older brother) loves to recount. My parents actually laughed when I called to tell them about the incident. They did not find anything funny about my illegal activity, but they did see some humor in the fact that I got caught and (the whole car chase/off duty COP thing is kinda funny when it's not you it happened to!). When Jamie told her parents, her dad told her that he already knew she had been up to something that night, because a co-worker had told him that he had heard her name on the police scanner. It's hard to break the law in your small home town, and not have someone rat you out (I appreciate this fact so much more now that I am a parent).

So back to school we went to continue our studies and work on developing those frontal lobes. I am happy to tell you that we have both grown into responsible (law abiding) citizens. These days we both use great judgement, and control our impulses extremely well (most of the time anyway). We just had to give those brains time to mature.

Reasons

I could give you all sorts of reasons why I can't or shouldn't or really just don't feel like running. Wanna hear them?

Thanks to Daylight Savings Time, it's practically getting dark in the middle of the afternoon.

It's cold. And sometimes it even snows. And the wind might blow and make my ears all achy.

Our evening schedule is out. of. control. Do they have recovery programs for moms who can't say no to 'just one more activity'? Cause I think I may need one. Last night Zack left to take Evan to hockey at 4:30, got him on the ice, then headed home to get Owen ready for his 5:45 basketball game. I picked Evan up at 5:45, dropped Riley off for his hockey practice, and raced over to catch the rest of Owen's game. After the game, I dropped the boys off with Shayna at the house and went to get Riley off the ice a little bit early so that we could make it to his 7:00 basketball game. (Did I mention that Zack is coaching both basketball teams?) We started the Allen Family Taxi Service at 4:30 and didn't get home until after 8:00. And nobody even tipped me!

In the mornings there is the whole 'What do I do with Quinn?' dilemma. I could always push him in the stroller. You guys, trust me when I tell you that pushing a toddler in a jogging stroller is MUCH harder than those skinny, fit, hard-bodied chicks in the advertisements make it look! MUCH HARDER! I know it is giving my arms a workout, and I'm burning extra calories, but I honestly don't care.

It's a lot easier to sit at home on the couch with the candy bowl in my lap watching 'Biggest Loser' while I stuff my face with fun size Twix and Kit Kats (they're only like 80 calories each).

I just had SURGERY 3 days ago guys! OK. So, it was only to remove a varicose vein, and even though they gave me a prescription for Percoset, I actually only had to take Advil twice. I feel perfect, but it SOUNDS really sad and pathetic when I say, "I just had SURGERY!"

There's always the treadmill at the gym, but have you ever tried to run on one of those things. Running is hard... that's kind of the point, but running on a treadmill is like torture on a conveyor belt. Every mile seems to take soooo much longer. Maybe that's because all I have to look at is the ESPN that all the muscle boys in the gym like to watch. Also I am going absolutely NOWHERE. I prefer to have an actual destination and some scenery other than sweaty bodies, football, and a WALL! It certainly doesn't help my motivation that all the people on the equipment behind me have an unobstructed view of my jiggly BUTT!

I have mostly been on my own. My running partner is back at work (teaching), and the other gals I sometimes run with have kids and busy lives too. It's been hard to make it work. When I have a running date with another person, I will almost always keep it. When I only have myself to be accountable to... see above.

Reasons I will keep running even though I have plenty of perfectly good excuses not to

I am happy with my weight for the first time in my adult life.

Shopping for clothes is a much less emotional experience than it used to be. There is less crying, and more actual BUYING... it might actually be characterized as FUN.

When I sit down, instead of seeing bumpy cottage cheesy cellulite on my thighs (pretty picture, huh?), I have actual MUSCLE definition.

I am STRONG. Strong enough to climb a 14er. Strong enough to water ski. Strong enough to run for 13 miles without stopping. I am 36 years old, and I'm doing things I've never done before. That feels amazing.

I am a mom. My life is, for the most part, about my family. That is as it should be. Running (and now the writing I am doing here) are the only things I do JUST FOR ME. It's my time. Time to think and reflect on things that are happening in my life. Time to get some space from the issues, and hopefully gain some perspective.

I have energy. I am no longer moving through life in a fog that I just can't seem to shake. Instead I feel alive and energized. These kids of mine will sap every last bit of energy from me, so I need all I can get.

Other than the five times I have pushed 9-10 pound human beings out of my body, I have never been prouder of myself than when I crossed the finish line of my first half marathon. It was an incredible moment. One I would like to experience again.

Even though it's hard. Even though sometimes I don't feel like it. Even though it's complicated to fit it in to my crazy life. I. will. keep. going.

Do Not Drive or Operate Machinery

OK. So today, I am not grumpy. I am sooo tired and just a little bit loopy from the 'happy medicine' (anesthesiologist's word, not mine) that I got this morning. This particular procedure did not require a general anesthetic. Instead, they explained that I would be given something to relax me. I was slightly concerned with this arrangement, because when my body is 'relaxed', my lips tend to be 'relaxed' as well. I end up saying things that embarrass me as well as those near my relaxed lips. Turns out I was actually heavily sedated and slept through most of the surgery. What a relief! Dodged some potential embarrassment at my follow up visit next week.

[Small town side note - I actually know the anesthesiologist on a personal level]

If you missed #8 in yesterday's post, I had outpatient surgery to 'remove' (the icky word they use is 'strip') a varicose vein in my thigh. Said vein has been getting uglier, bulgier and owier since I was pregnant with Owen (8+ years ago).

My hope is that I can wear shorts next summer, and when I wear a swimsuit at the pool or lake, my dearest children will not stab me through the heart with comments like, "Ewww! Mom! What is that blue bumpy thing on your leg?". That's not too much to hope for, is it?

Also, the nurse told me that I shouldn't drive for 24 hours. When I told her that I had planned to take Riley to hockey this evening, she said I'd better not because it could cost me a DUI and several thousand dollars. I guess I better find him a ride that isn't under the influence of 'happy medicine'.

What's Got You Grumpy?

1) It's Monday, and I'm not really a Monday person. I'm more of a Friday person.

2) Daylight Savings Time is an enemy to Mothers everywhere! You wouldn't think one stinking hour could throw our lives into such a swirling mass of chaos, but believe me, It can.

3) Did I mention it's Monday?

4) I stubbed my toe yesterday, and it hurts.

5) The weather is changing, and there is a storm headed this direction. I should just be happy with the fact that we have had beautiful weather the last few weeks, but I hate to see the snow come because I know it won't be leaving for a while.

6) We need new winter tires which means we will soon be about $800 poorer.

7) A friend just told me that a woman WHO DOES NOT EVEN KNOW ME was bad-mouthing me. Seriously? I have only spoken to her in passing a few times. What the heck?

8) I am having a varicose vein stripped tomorrow. I am a big baby about stuff like that (I even get a little bit freaked out about flu shots), so I am getting a teensy bit nervous.

9) Owen is having surgery next week to repair a hernia. It's his second surgery in less than a year, so I feel like a big ole baby for whining about #8.

10) I have a HATE/HATE relationship with the treadmill and I will be forced to HATE it a lot this week (see #5).

11) Sometimes I feel like I am swimming upstream when it comes to parenting my children. I will leave the specifics for another post, but it wears me down sometimes when I hear, "But EVERYONE else gets to do it!" all the frickin' time!

12) Medical Insurance (enough said)

13) The Halloween candy is soooo out to get me!

I promise that my next post will be something inspiring, and uplifting (I'll do my best anyway), but today let's just commiserate together. What's got you grumpy today?

Oh 'Deer'

Our town is dealing with a dilemma - a deer dilemma. Specifically, what do we do about their rampant numbers? Apparently, the deer have reaped great benefits from living in our little town. Why wouldn't they... food sources are abundant (even if you don't consider the crazies that actually put out feed for them), and there is plenty of shelter as well as a lack of natural predators (unless you count the dogs that chase them down the streets). Generations of deer have been born here with an abundance of food and no form of population control. This has led to a dramatic increase in numbers over the last several years.

Many of the complaints that I have read and heard with regard to the deer involve damage to landscape. The opponents of deer control measures make it sound as if these deer are just nibbling on a few flowers. They do, indeed, enjoy the occasional flower (especially tulips from the Allen yard). That is, however within the home owner's ability to control. If I would REMEMBER to spray my flowers with deer repellent, they would leave well enough alone. It goes far beyond flowers, however. They often destroy trees and shrubs and munch away at perennials. This can add up to hundreds of dollars worth of loss. The opponents of the deer control measures would counter that you should put a six foot fence around your yard. Put a fence around my FRONT Yard? What is this, Fort Knox? Forget about having a front yard that contributes to the beauty and charm of the town... fence it in!

Other complaints center around the claim that that the deer are aggressive, particularly toward pets of the canine persuasion. I get that dogs should be in fenced yards and/or on a leash. It makes me crazy to have to clean up after a dog that has used my yard as a toilet, and it makes me even crazier to be chased by loose dogs while out on a run. Dog owners should be held accountable for keeping their dogs under control, and face consequences when they fail to do so. If the dog is loose in the streets, and ends up being hurt or killed by a deer, the fault lies with the owner. But... what if the dog is in MY FENCED-IN BACKYARD? We don't actually have a dog (my children remind me regularly what a mean mom I am), but a couple of years back, we were dog-sitting, and were startled from our sleep by the dog whining. Assuming she needed to do her business, my husband let her out. It turns out, she wanted to go out to 'play' with the very large buck that was in the yard. The buck wasn't really interested in a 'playdate' and proceeded to take on a threatening stance. The buck's escape route was being blocked by the dog, and although Zack eventually manage to call the dog in, and all were unharmed, it had the potential to end much differently.

Honestly, I am not nearly concerned as concerned about pets and plants as I am my children. A very large (at least he looks very large in my small backyard, near my small children) buck has made frequent appearances in our yard this fall. He seems to like our apple tree, and doesn't care much for my rambunctious kids. I keep hearing folks say that if we would just check the yard before we go out, we would be safe enough. Unfortunately, it is difficult to get my five children as well as all the other little folk who visit our home (ranging in age from newborn to 13) to check for large antlered animals before running into the yard to play. The death or injury of a child would be a terribly tragic and painful way to realize how dangerous these animals can be.

'But they were here first!' may be one of the most common cries heard from the Defenders of Deer (DODs... What do ya think? I think I may have come up with a name for their cause?). The mountain lions, coyotes, wolves and bears were also here first, but I think that these DOD folk might not be as enchanted by a mountain lion slinking around the streets of their neighborhoods.

Recently, the City Council and the Division of Wildlife met to address the issue. The DOW presented three options: Establish a hunting area and season outside city limits, trap and kill them, or hire a team of marksmen to come into the city at night to kill them. They seemed to think that a combination of all three would be the best and most effective course of action.

I have to admit, I am a little disturbed by the idea of a 'marksman' prowling down my street at night, armed with a deadly weapon. It seems a bit more "Mission Impossible' than 'Mission Deer Removal'. Humane trapping and relocation seems to be a reasonable solution. However, these are animals that have only known town living, and I fear they would not be well suited to a more natural habitat. It also seems that they would be inclined to seek out another populated area. The idea of hunting outside city limits seems acceptable to me even though I, personally, would never shoot an animal on purpose. I'm more than happy to eat them, but I will leave the shooting to someone else, thank you very much. This idea has also aroused outrage among the DOD (Defenders of Deer). Even people who claim to be hunters themselves, have some aversion to 'killing these beautiful creatures'. Why are the deer who inhabit our town MORE beautiful and worthy of protection than those minding their own business on public lands. If hunters had the opportunity to take these animals, at least they would be put to good use.

There have been one or two letters to the editor regarding the deer dilemma in our local paper each day since the City Council meeting. The issue seems to illicit a very strong reaction in folks. I honestly don't think there is a perfect solution. For the most part I find the deer a charming addition to our town, especially when I am out for some exercise and fresh air and I encounter a couple of spotted fawns. Who can resist that sight? The mommas looking out for those babies and the big antlered boys are a whole different story, though.