Saturday, May 1, 2010

Small Town Living

As I was getting my hair cut the other day, my hair stylist and I were passing the time catching up on harmless gossip. It struck me as we were talking, that I would likely not be having a conversation like this if I lived in a larger city. If there was a person who came up in conversation that one of us wasn't acquainted with we would say something like, "Well you know her sister so and so who works at the high school." Or... "You know! Her mom is married to so and so who works at the mine with so and so." Funny thing is, most of the time we could figure out who the other was talking about based on these connections.

The degree of separation between folks in a small town like ours tends to be small. We've lived here for almost five years and I am still struck when I find out that Ann is related to Bob and Mary used to be married to Frank who is now dating Susie. It can get a little complicated and confusing at times, but this interconnectedness does have it's benefits. I think, as a rule, it makes people more cautious about what they say. They often censor their words a bit more than they otherwise would. You might be talking to Jane about Joe (who you really can't stand because he was a real jerk when he coached your son's baseball team), but you happen to know that Jane is married to Joe's brother. Therefore, rather than going off on a tirade about Joe and his coaching technique, you steer the conversation in another direction instead. I have been personal witness to situations in which an individual seemed to have forgotten for a moment how connected we all are, and spouted off about someone only to find out that the person they were spouting to is related in some way to the one they were spouting about. This is a terribly uncomfortable and embarrassing situation for all involved and is best avoided altogether. It is refreshing to find that this small town phenomena results in more positive social interactions.

I also think this interconnectedness helps build a strong sense of community. The way the people of this little town come together to support one another through not only triumph and tradgedy, but also through the everyday tasks of life is something that makes me so proud to call Craig home. When we moved to Craig not knowing a soul other than our realtor and a few folks from the school district, I was so touched when we made our way to Northwest Colorado with our moving van, and an army of helping hands were here ready and waiting to help us unload. At the time, my dad who was also here to help us, likened it to an Amish barn raising... many hands make light work. During our first summer here, I went out to load the kids in the car to take Owen to his last day of swimming lessons (you know... the one where you actually get to stand near the pool, oohing and aahing and taking pictures). Well, the car refused to start, and there wasn't time to walk, so I called over to the school administration building where Zack was in meetings, to see if he might be able to come get us. The secretary who answered the phone explained that he was in a meeting, but she would be happy to let us borrow her car for the morning. Can you imagine? I didn't know this person, and she certainly didn't know me or what kind of driver I was, and she was just going to let me use her car. Just last week I was dropping something off at the frame shop and I saw these matching pieces that I thought would look beautiful on either side of the mirror over our mantle, but I wasn't sure how they would fit. So... I asked the gal who owns the shop if I could leave my credit card and some cash and take them home for a little bit. She replied, "Oh, just take them. And you don't have to bring them right back. Keep them till tomorrow!" Unfortunately, they didn't fit, but you get the idea. There is a sense of trust and safety, a desire to know one's neighbors and be known by them that I have never experienced in any of the other places I've lived.

There are certainly drawbacks to small town life - geographic isolation (what I really mean by this is the distance to a mall) being chief among them. Sometimes, when I go to the grocery store in a pony tail and no make-up, I just want to get my milk and go home... not smile and visit with the people I know. And everyone does know everyone's business, but ya know what? That means they know my kids' business too, and will let me know when they get out of line. In this small town, the good far outweighs the bad... and when I see this community come together to support friends and neighbors in need and to love one another through it, it never fails to touch my heart, and it makes me want to call this little town of Craig, Colorado home for a long time to come.